Plastic.Fake smiles and pretty clothes from people who know you hardly and care even less.
That was what her Quinceanera was. But despite all the girls hiding under heels and makeup, I actually had fun.
I usually don't at parties, I'm fairly shy and like to hang around my close friends for the most part. But I actually felt pretty in my dress and lively (after we all drank that "punch") and I danced. I've never really "danced" at a dance before, more swaying and jumping up in down, but I danced (ish..). And I sang to the songs, and it was fun. It was really fun.
I actually genuinely had a good time. And looking back at people's facebook's posts, I know that some of my classmates didn't. Some were like me, and had a ton of fun. But some just felt awkward (like I have at many parties) and that is one of the issues that I would like to address today.
Awkwardness around peers, and awkwardness at dances, etc. For me, as a fifteen year old girl, most of the time, I feel like I walk around with Fat, Short, Ugly Loser stamped on my forehead. I also think everyone is constantly staring at me of all people, and that everyone is shaking their heads in utter silence and disgust because of something I did or some way that I danced or something that I said to someone obscure like myself.
That's how I feel. Most of the time, anyway. And you can be sure, that this doesn't always get the most positive outcome out of me. Or the most positive feelings about past dances/peer confrontations.
I'm not one for drama, but I like a little spice in my life. And awkwardness diminishes whatever drama or spice that would be in my life, and that's why I hate it, and that's why I hang around with all my close friends (because, normally, I'm not as awkward around them as I am around tall skinny brunettes with fake lashes and tweezed eyebrows (even though a good tweezing is something even I like every now and again)).
But awkwardness sucks. It's shitty and it just make my day horrible. When I don't know what to say or (worse) I say nothing at all, I just stand their staring a people that I feel are prettier than me.
So awkwardness sucks.
We can pretty certainly establish this as one of my Facts of Life.
But here are some tips, that I find, help me at parties (and help me diminish by overwhelming awkwardness around the general populace).
And I'm sorry that they're not genuine. A lot of people don't act like themselves or (often) they trade their personalities in so they can have a good time or nice night. I'm naturally a stiff, but I don't want to be that at parties, so I smile too much and dance too much and overcompensate. But, then again, so does everyone else, so I guess I kind of fit in (or awkwardly stand out, who knows?)
Tips:
1. Smile. It doesn't matter if your not happy. People don't hang around other people with big frowns on their faces.
2. Spend as much time with the life (or in many cases, lives) of the party. It doesn't matter if you aren't friends with them. Try to hang around them (or be the life of the party yourself, but don't make yourself look stupid. Know your limits and work within them. Eventually people will associate you higher and higher up the food chain, but you have to take baby steps. No one goes from nothing to someone overnight. Just remember baby steps, don't look stupid, don't act stupid-- unless that's something your school's or grade or friends/acquaintances are into.)
3. DON'T cross your arms. It makes you look self conscious and no one likes hanging around a person that hates themselves because usually it's a drag. If you are really self conscious and you don't want to dance in front of people, grab some close enough friends and drag them over to get food or cake or drinks.
4. DON'T hang around by yourself. Always have someone with you. It looks like your a loner if your hanging around in the corner. If you really have no one, snap out your phone and text (or pretend to text if you REALLY have no one. But if you REALLY have no one or none of your friends are responding remember-- new friends, or people who don't know you, don't know that you might have some quirks that shew your classmates away, so try to be positive and work with your best traits to try to gain some new friends)
5. DON'T make any love confessions. It's tacky. And annoying.
6. DO if your crushing on someone, ask them to dance. It doesn't have to be a serious slow dance, because you never know if their into you or not. I didn't even ask a guy to dance. I grabbed my friends hands, jumped up and down a little (cool me), then when we separated, I grabbed his hands like it was nothing (like my friend's) and jumped up and down. I still danced with my crush, but I didn't make him feel uncomfortable, because it was something everyone was doing.
7. If someone you don't know says hey to you, say hey back. Conversation is the best way to avoid awkwardness. But you don't have to stop and talk to them for thirty minutes, because that can back fire and make both of you uncomfortable. Conversation is good, but you have to work your way up to being friends with a stranger/just an acquaintance.
8. Tell someone that they look "cute" or "handsome" even if they really don't. Flattery is the best way to get to someone's heart, and they'll like you for the better of it.
9. BEFORE going to the party CHECK THE MIRROR AND BRUSH YOUR TEETH. No one wants to snog with disgusting breath.
10. BEFORE going to the party make sure that your friends or going (or better yet, get a ride with one of your friends. This gets you close to your friend (you could spend the night or talk on the way over) and it also make you (at least me) feel less awkward walking into a party full of dancing/talking already people.
Those are some of the tips that always help me out when I'm at a loss.
And girls, bring a clutch. A bulky purse isn't cute with a dress. I got a plain (small) black clutch at a thrift store for two dollars. They don't have to be Coach (but then again, branding helps depending on your school) but something small and cute is something people comment on or compliment.
And things to bring in the clutch, you may or may not be asking?
Well here's what I brought:
1. My Permit (not that I really needed it)
2. Lipgloss (Stolen Kisses from NARS)
3. A compact mirror from Ulta
4. My cell phone (OF COURSE)
5. The invitation to the party
6. Money (I didn't need it, but you never know)
Hope it helps!
Caitlin's Quote of the Day: "Life may not be the party we hope for, but while we're here we might as well dance." -Similar Quotes
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